Pucking Strong: An MM Workplace Hockey Romance (Jacksonville Rays Book 4)

“Pressure good?”

Lying face down on the massage table, I grunt something that sounds like assent as the PT intern, Cassidy, glides her thumbs up the column of my neck.

“You’re carrying quite a bit of tension,” she explains as she works.

Astute observation. It’s been a week since the social worker interviewed us all again. A week and we’ve heard nothing. Before, it would have been in my nature to sit and wait. Having Karro has changed that in me. Now there can be no waiting quietly while our fate is decided by other people. I have to do something. I have to fix this. I can’t just lie here with my head metaphorically in the sand.

“If you could just try to relax,” Cassidy says in a soothing tone.

But I can’t relax. If anything, my shoulders tighten as she pushes down with her thumbs.

“Why don’t we try taking a few deep breaths?” she offers after another minute.

It’s no use. Lying here is only making me more frustrated. I’ll get no relief from a massage today. I have to get up. I can’t call Cheryl and it’s too late to call Elin in Sweden. Perhaps I’ll go for a run.

“Is something wrong, Mr. Karlsson?”

Before I can reply, the door opens.

“Knock knock, asshole.” Novy lets himself in, turning up the dimmed lights. “Hey, you almost done in here, bud?”

Flustered, Cassidy steps back. “I—we have this room reserved for another thirty minutes, I think.”

“Really? Hmm, well, by my watch you’re done.”

“But I—”

“Tell you what,” he says over her. “I keep an open tab down at the coffee cart. Why don’t you go get yourself a little afternoon pick-me-up? Leave me and Karlsson here alone to talk hockey for a minute. Assistant captain stuff. Very secret.”

My groan echoes in the face hole. “Both of you can go.”

“Thank, Cass. You’re a treasure,” Novy calls, ushering her from the room and closing the door with a snap.

I sit up to find him leaning against the door, arms crossed. Muttering a curse in Swedish, I swing my legs off the table. Neither of us cares that I’m dressed in nothing but my boxer briefs. “What do you want, Novikov?”

He stares me down. “Do we have a problem, you and me?”

“No.”

He chuckles, dragging a hand through his hair, still damp from his shower. We finished up practice less than an hour ago. “Yeah, see, only I don’t believe you.”

“Why not?”

“Because you just called me Novikov. You guys only do that when you’re pissed at me for something … except Mars. He only ever called me Novikov. But even you call me Novy.”

I sigh, my shoulders prickling with all this unresolved tension. “It’s not about you.”

His eyes narrow. “Then what is it?”

I’ve skated with this man for six years now. And while I wouldn’t say we’re friends, we’ve always been friendly. He doesn’t mind my awkwardness, and he always invites me to things. And yet, we’ve never shared in each other’s confidences. Not once in over six years has he sought me out to ask me about my feelings or the state of our relationship. So why start now?

I cross my arms over my naked chest, glaring at him. “What’s your game, Novikov?”

He chuckles. “Aaaand we’re right back to Novikov. See what I mean? Okay, so spill. What did I do?”

“Nothing.”

“Sure. Except Coley has the emotional sonar abilities of a freaking dolphin, and he thinks you’re upset with me. I told him he was crazy, and he told me I had to come set a few things straight. Are you listening?”

I grunt with annoyance as he holds up a finger in my face.

“Number one, what’s happening with your niece fucking sucks. I don’t know how you’ve been able to stay so calm about it. If someone was threatening to take my kids from me, I’d already be in jail for going full Punisher on their asses.”

I lean away, surprised by the vehemence in his tone. After a moment, I sigh, giving him my truth. “If I appear outwardly calm, you should know that it’s a thin mask I wear, growing thinner by the day.”

“I can well fucking believe it. Which leads me to point number two: I’m sorry about the massage stuff.”

“What?”

“You know, yanking your chain about Teddy and his magic massages. It’s no mystery that I like to tease. Coley and I sort of get each other off on the whole jealousy kink thing. Usually, it’s super fun. I swear to god, when that man gets wound tight enough, he can pound me into another fucking dimension—”

I scowl at him. “Fast-forward, Nov.”

He snorts, checking the time on his watch. “Right. Well, that’s my point. It’s just teasing. I have no interest in Teddy, Karlsson. It’s important to me that you know that. Coley’s the only man I’ve ever been with. He’s fucking it for me. He and Poppy are my world. The rest is just my excess flirting energy,” he adds with a wave of his hand. “It has to come outta me, or I’ll fucking burst, you know? And you and Ted have just been easy targets. But with everything else you’ve got going on, I don’t think you need to be teased right now. By me or anyone else. So that leads me to point number three.”

I sigh. “Christ, you have a third point?”

He grins. “I do.” His smile falls as he points beyond the door. “Whatever else happens with your kid, don’t fuck this up.”

I glance to the door. “Fuck what up?”

“What else, asshole? Teddy.”

Despite myself, my jealousy bristles at the look of intensity in his eyes. “Just say what you really came to say.” I can sense we’ve finally come to the heart of it.

He crosses his arms. “Alright, I will. When I look at you, Karlsson, do you know what I see?”

I hold his glare. “No.”

“I see myself. I see who I was six years ago, before Poppy and Cole flipped my life inside out. When I get scared, when things feel too heavy, I run. I’ve always been a runner. My running is a physical flight. You’re a runner too. But you run here.” He taps the side of his temple with a finger.

My racing mind trips at his accusation, and I let out an audible breath, leaning away in surprise.

Novy smirks. “Yeah, I see you running in there. You’ve been running for weeks. Thinking, plotting, scheming, second-guessing. But you and I are lucky, Karlsson. We picked partners who will run with us. Hell, I imagine Teddy’s anxiety can run circles around yours all damn day. But there’s something I’ve learned sharing my life with Poppy and Cole.”

Apparently, I’m now accepting life advice from Lukas Novikov. “What have you learned?”

“The gift isn’t that they can keep up with us,” he explains.

“It’s not?”

He shakes his head. “Nope. The gift is that they’re the only thing in this life we wanna run to … not from. So run to him, Karlsson. Whatever else happens, never stop.”

Before I can respond, there’s another knock on the door and Novy leaps to pull it open. “Hey, there he is!” One-armed, he pulls Teddy into the room.

Teddy sees me all but naked on the table, and his eyes go wide. He glances between us, clearly looking for the other PT. “I … you told me to meet you here. Am I interrupting something?”

“Nope,” Novy replies, his tone cheery. “I only beat you here by a minute. Cassidy just left. Actually, this is a bit of a bait-and-switch situation. Classic Novy, right? I’m a scoundrel. But hopefully this time you won’t mind because I’ve decided to donate my last Teddy massage to Karlsson. Poor guy begged and pleaded with me for long enough that I just had to give in.”

Teddy and I both stiffen, glancing from each other back to Novy. “But I can’t massage Henrik at work,” he says, his tone wary.

“Which is why the schedule will still read that it’s me in here with you,” Novy replies with a wink. “When, in fact, I will now be sneaking up to Poppy’s office to fuck her on her desk. It’s her own fault for wearing those heels with the ankle strappy things. She knows I can’t resist. We’ll all taste a bit of afternoon delight, and no one needs to ever know. Deal?”

Teddy waits for me to make the decision. Novy’s last words fill my mind, taking up all the space I was using for worrying and over-thinking: Run to him. Never stop. Locking eyes with my Teddy, I hold out my hand. “Come here.”

He steps right past Novy, so easily drawn in by my quiet command. I part my knees and lure him closer. He doesn’t stop until his thighs hit the table. Then he’s in my arms, his hands brushing over my bare shoulders as I cup his face and kiss him, staking my claim.

I barely register the door closing as Novy leaves the room. After a few more moments of kissing, Teddy pulls away. “Wait. What really happened before I came in here just now? What did he say?”

I smile, brushing my thumb over his parted lips. “He apologized for teasing us.”

“Really?”

I nod. “I think he’s grown a conscience since Poppy and Morrow broke into his home and moved themselves in.”

He grins. “Hard to believe, but I think you might be right.” He glances around the room. It’s little more than a repurposed closet, barely big enough for the massage table, with overhead lights set on a dimmer switch. There are four of these rooms situated along the same wall in the PT suite. “Should we … I mean, he was obviously joking, right? We can’t do a massage in here. We could get in trouble.”

Teddy speaks sense. Rules are rules. But now I have him in my arms, and all that worrying I was doing has finally eased. My god, Lukas Novikov is right. With Teddy, it’s like the chaos of the world stops and my racing thoughts quiet. With Teddy, I find stillness. Only with Teddy do I find peace. I smile, brushing his locs off his shoulder. “No more trouble than fucking you over the hood of my car at a public beach.”

He blushes. Exactly the reaction I wanted. I love the way the warmth blooms in his cheeks under that soft spray of freckles. Each one is a fleck of caramel I want to taste. As he notes the hungry look on my face, a nervous smile spreads on his. “What’s gotten into you?”

“Hopefully you,” I tease. “After my massage, of course.”

He snorts a laugh, pulling away. “Are you serious right now? You’re finally gonna let me massage you?”

Feeling lighter than I have in days, I flip onto my stomach and place my face back in the cushioned cutout. “Lock the door and dim the lights.”

I listen to him move around the room. The soft click of the door lock already has my cock twitching. I regret lying so eagerly on my stomach, pinning it to the table with my hips. Music starts up on the Bluetooth speaker. Cassidy was playing something that sounded like spa music. Teddy plays smooth, soft jazz.

“Novy and I had agreed on an hour-long, full-body massage. Is that what you’d like as well?” His tone is clinical. My sweet man, he’s trying so hard to be professional.

Determined to rattle him, I shrug a shoulder. “Let’s just see how long we last.”

“What does that mean?”

“I can’t imagine we’ll make it more that fifteen minutes before you’re asking me to suck your cock—ah—”

I wince as he twists his fingers into my hair and pulls my head up and out of the face cradle, forcing me to look at him. He doesn’t bother hiding his smile or the heat in his eyes. “Keep pushing me when I’m just trying to do my job, and we won’t get to the part where I ask. I’ll just flip you over right now, jerk that ass to the end of the table, and make you take me.”

Before I can respond, he lets me go, and my head flops back into the cradle. I chuckle, adjusting my hips so I’m not crushing my hardening cock.

“I’ll start with your shoulders,” he declares, rubbing his hands with oil. “What level of pressure would you like?”

“Hard.”

He steps up to the head of the table where I can see his shoes. “Let’s begin.”

The moment his warm, oiled hands start to touch me, I relax. He moves them methodically over my shoulders, his pressure firm as he follows the line of each muscle, finding each nerve bundle, every knot and ache. His pressure is divine as he works the knots loose in my left shoulder first. I mutter a curse in Swedish and he eases up a little.

“Feel good? Not too much pressure?”

“’Sgood,” I mumble, my eyes closed in bliss as my body goes slack.

“I had no idea you were carrying so much stress in your shoulders,” he says after another minute or two. “Babe, you’re riddled with knots.”

“I know.”

“I’m gonna talk to Brady. We need to finesse your cooldown routine. There’s stretching we can modify, heat therapy, and you need to swim more.”

“Swim?”

“Mhmm. It’s great recovery for you. Hockey is so high impact. I know you love to run, but you need your therapies to do less damage, not more.”

His comment about my love of running makes me smile. But I can’t fight the relieved groan that escapes me as he starts to really dig into the knots on my lower trapezius muscle.

“I don’t know if Novy told you, but I have a strict ‘no sex noises’ policy on my massage table,” he teases, still digging in deep with his thumbs.

“That sound was involuntary,” I grunt.

His pressure lightens as he works a knot loose, each movement so measured and controlled. “Hmm, well, just don’t do it again. Second warning.”

I stiffen. “Second warning? What was the first?”

“Seriously? You boasting that I’d be begging to suck your cock within the first fifteen minutes of this massage. Now, lie there like a good little hockey player, and let me do my work.”

With a heavy huff, I exhale, relaxing back onto the table.

“Karro starts aqua aerobics for her leg in a couple weeks,” he says after a few minutes. “We could both go with her and get in some laps at the pool.”

I smile. “You know if we both go, she’ll demand we get pizza after.”

I’ve been traveling so much lately. Karolina has determined that any time all three of us are able to make it to her PT together, it’s a party that must be celebrated with pizza and chocolate milk.

“I’ll concede to the pizza if you promise to take better care of yourself,” he replies.

I reach for him. I can’t help myself. Dropping my arms from the table, I brush my hands up the back of his thighs.

Now it’s his turn to groan as he tenses, but he doesn’t step away. “You know, I’m really trying to be professional here. I want to make this good for you, baby. I want to help you.”

“You do help me. You’re so good to me.”

He swats my hands away, moving to the side of the table to work on my middle back. “Okay, so then let me really help you. I could start massaging you more at home. I hate to feel like you’re not getting what you need just because we’re married. I’m more qualified than Cassidy, and I have gentler hands than Brady or Jeff—hey—”

I push off the table up to my elbows, grabbing him by the wrist before he can step away. “You do help me.”

He looks down at me, shaking his head. As I watch, tears spring to his eyes. Then his shoulders sag.

“Hey … what is this now?”

“I just feel so helpless,” he admits. “There’s nothing else I can do. How can there really be nothing else?”

We’re not talking about massages now. “I know,” I say. “I feel the same.”

Sighing, he takes his free hand and cups my cheek. “Oh, Hen, you’ve done everything you can.”

“As have you,” I assure him. “All we can do now is wait.” Turning my face into his hand, I kiss his palm, breathing him in. His skin smells faintly of warm honey from the massage oil. “What do you need from me?”

“What?”noveldrama

I hold his gaze. “We can’t keep running, mitt hjärta. Not from this. We have to stay, and we have to wait. So let me distract you. Take what you need from me.”

He lets out a shaky breath, his gaze darting around the room as he tries not to look at the long lines of my all-but-naked body lying on this massage table. Why is he holding himself back from me?

Fighting a smile, I raise a brow. “You’re allowed to look at me, mitt hjärta. You’re allowed to enjoy what you see.”

“I feel guilty,” he admits. “Is that crazy? Like I’m not allowed to have good things while there’s this constant threat of the one big bad thing—”

“No.” I sit up, swinging my legs off the table as I pull him to me. “No, we can’t live like that. Whatever happens with Karolina, there’s still you and there’s me. That doesn’t change.”

He bites his bottom lip, shaking his head. His gaze is focused somewhere near my clavicle.

I brush my hand over his hair, trailing my knuckles along his cheek. “Talk to me.”

“I’m only in your life because of Karolina,” he murmurs. “If she goes … if I can’t help you keep her—”

“Stop.” I cup his face with both hands. “Christ, is this the weight you’ve been carrying for weeks? You think this is all on your shoulders?”

“Months,” he admits. “Since Sweden. And it is all on me. Elin said it; the judge said it. But, Henrik, what if I’m not enough—”

“You are.”

“Yeah, but what if I’m not?”

I sigh, pressing my forehead to his, my eyes shut tight. Slowly, he relaxes a little, his hands lifting to wrap around my wrists. “You make my world stop,” I whisper.

“What?”

I lean away. He needs to see me, needs to see the truth in my eyes. “That’s what Novy and I were in here talking about just before you arrived. He called me a runner. He told me I should run to you because you’re where everything stops for me.”

His eyes widen. “He really said that?”

I nod. “I know that you only came into my life for Karolina. I’m asking you to stay in it for me. Not because I want your help with Karro. I don’t want your massages or your smoothies or your interior decorating skills either.”

He fights a nervous smile. “Okay, so I think you’re trying to be sweet right now, but to me that just sounds like a whole lot of rejection …”

I chuckle, brushing his cheek with my thumb. “I’m trying to say that you’re enough. Badly, apparently.” His smile flickers and I can’t help but reach out and touch it too. “It’s not about what you do for me,” I go on. “Or what you do for Karolina. It’s who you are that I care about. I want you, Teddy. Just as you are. I want you in my life. Stay.”

He steps back as I slip off the edge of the table and stand. Operating on instinct, I drop down to one knee, reeling him in by the hips. He drops his hands to my bare shoulders. “Henrik, what are you doing?”

“I want you to stay with me.” Pressing my face to his hip, I breathe in the cool scent of his athletic body spray. He squeezes my shoulders, his breath catching on a gasp as I cup his crotch, feeling the hardening of his cock beneath my hand. “Stay with me,” I repeat.

“Henrik …” He whispers my name with the reverence of a prayer.

Slowly, I tug his pants down, relishing in the sight of the cut lines of his hips, the lean, banded muscles wrapping his thighs. He’s my perfect work of art. Powerful and beautiful. His cock hangs hard and heavy for me, waiting. He’s always waiting for me. My patient man.

I take him to hand, and he curses, one hand shifting to brace the back of my head. I look up, needing to see his face as I wrap my lips around his tip and taste that first essence of him. He groans, lips parted on a breath, as he watches me suck and tease.

He’s fooling no one with this hesitancy. His hand is like iron on the back of my head, keeping me in place. I push back against him, loving the struggle, as he finally steps in with his hips, making me choke. I hum with relief, hungry for more, my hands gripping tight to his ass. “Make it stop,” I pant the moment he lets me up for air. “Teddy, please.”

“I know,” he soothes, all his hesitancy shattered. “Eyes on me. Don’t look away.”

I drop down to both knees, rocking back on my ankles, as Teddy takes over. He’s gentle but direct, guiding my actions with soothing words. “Just let go … I’m right here, baby. I’m not going anywhere. Look at me.”

I groan with relief, taking his cock to the back of my throat again and again. He sets a punishing pace, fucking my mouth like he owns it. God help me, he does. We both know it. Every part of me is his now. These last few months have changed us forever. How did I ever live without him?

“Baby, I’m gonna come,” he pants, making shallower thrusts with his hips. “Open your mouth. Show me. Wanna watch you take my cum.”

I tip my head back and open my mouth. Teddy keeps one hand fisted tight in my hair, holding me just how he wants me. Then he curses softly as his other hand makes a tight fist around his shaft. He jerks himself hard and fast, just a few quick pulls before he sighs with relief. Our gazes hold as warm cum jets from his tip, landing on my waiting tongue. Like a fiend, I devour, claiming every drop.

But it’s that look of ecstasy I was really chasing. This is where the world stops. In this moment, lost in the look of love in his eyes. There is no worry, no stress or pain. There is nothing outside the marrow-deep knowledge that Teddy is here with me.

Sated and drowsy, I lean forward, all but slumping against him. “Stay,” I say again, eyes shut tight as I press my face to the bare skin of his hip and breathe him in. “Please stay with me.”

His hands are gentle as they touch and soothe, his fingertips brushing through my hair. “Where the hell am I gonna go, huh? You’ve ruined me, Henrik. One look at you, and I was done. Just say the word, and I’ll follow you anywhere.”