Beneath Her Bastard Boss

Chapter 138

He sat in a hard plastic chair beside her bed, elbow resting on the edge of the mattress, his fingers wrapped around her wrist as if it were made of delicate glass. It was morning, and he hadn’t slept at all. Roman had dropped clothes off, and the nurses had let him use the shower in Sutton’s private room they had moved her to around eleven last night.

Luca hadn’t left her for more than a few minutes; he could

He was so worried that if he turned his back on her for even one second, she might disappear. He could not lose her again. Even though he hadn’t realized he was in love with her the first time, he had still felt the loss of her when she had left. It was only then that he started to understand what she had truly meant to him. It hadn’t been a lightbuth moment at first; he had told himself it was the baby. But he had only been fooling himself.

Sutton stirred; at first, it was just a twitch of her fingers. Then, ther

was a deep indrawn breath.

Luca leaned closer. He watched as her eyelashes fluttered.

She blinked once, twice. Then looked at him through heavy lids.

“Hey,” she whispered; her voice didn’t sound like her. Not surprisin with what she had been through.

But seeing her awake and alive was like the biggest gift

of

all,

This was the most conscious she had been since she had been brought in. Last night, she barely mustered the strength to check on the baby.

He brought her hand to his mouth and kissed her knuckles without answering.

She moved slightly, then flinched.

“You are going to be in pain if you move, so take it easy,” he murmured. “Don’t push.”

She gave a slow, drowsy blink in response and tried to wet her lips. “The baby?”

“He’s okay,” Luca said with a small nod. “He’s small, Sutton… but he’s here. Breathing. Alive. He’s on a ventilator, and he’s surrounded by the best team looking after him, but… he’s here. He’s loud, actually. Even for a little guy.”

He hadn’t been allowed to hold him. Instead, he had slipped his arms into the side of the incubator and held his son’s tiny hand. But Blair and Keira had checked with him to see if he was alright with them seeing the baby. He was glad they had offered and asked. They had all gone through so much since last night, and he could feel the strain between him and Keira had lifted. They all loved Sutton and now the baby.

Her mouth barely bent into a smile. “You saw him?”

“Earlier this morning. Finally got the okay from the NICU. I wasn’t prepared.” He rubbed his thumb against the back of her hand, slower now. “He’s so damn tiny. But perfect. He grabbed my finger like he had something to prove.”

Tears welled up in her eyes at that.

Luca hesitated before speaking again. “They said he’s strong. He is doing well.”

She swallowed hard. “What’s his name?”

Luca shook his head slowly. “I told them I couldn’t name him without you. I thought you would kill me if I tried.”

Sutton nodded just a small movement. He could see that their exchange had drained her reserves.

She frowned and then seemed to muster her strength. She looked at him again after a moment.

“I heard you,” she said.

Luca blinked. “When?”

In the ER. When they brought me in.”

He didn’t need her to finish.

He remembered every word. Luca had thought she had been unconscious but had feared her finding out by one of the medical staff. He had not at any time thought she had heard him herself.

She looked away, her eyes misting again, blinking at the ceiling like it might give her courage.

“You told the doctors to save me,” she said quietly. “Even if it meant losing our son.”

The words made his heart sink.

Luca’s grip on her hand didn’t change. But a wave of something thick rolled behind his sternum. He exhaled low through his nose and lowered his eyes.

“I did,” he admitted.

She didn’t look angry. She didn’t took calm either, just tired. As if she didn’t have the energy to make her facial muscles work. The painkillers would be helping. “That… it wouldn’t have been my choice,” she said.

The words dropped heavily. Luca was waiting for her next words. Telling him to get out and leave her alone.

“I know,” he whispered, finally meeting her eyes. “And I’m sorry.”

She studied him for a long beat.

Luca couldn’t wait any longer for her to say something. “That wasn’t a decision I made because I didn’t want him,” Luca said. “And it wasn’t made easily, Sutton. I love him already. I’ve barely seen him.”

“I know,” she said, her voice cracking.

“But I can’t…” He faltered. Looked down at their hands. “I can’t imagine a world without you. Couldn’t. Not even for a second.”

She closed her eyes briefly, a single tear slipping down the side of her face and into her hairline.

“I could feel it,” she whispered. “That grief in your voice before I blacked out. That panic.”

He shook his head. “I didn’t want you to hear that.”

“I’m glad I did.”

Luca’s brows pulled together.

“You thought I’d hate you for it,” she said softly. It wasn’t a question..

He didn’t answer. Not right away.

Instead, he just shifted in the chair, leaned forward, and rested his forehead against her hand again.

“The whole time you were in surgery,” he murmured, “I kept replaying it. Thinking maybe I’d gone too far. Maybe I didn’t have the right. That I’d ma selfish choice. That you’d wake up and hate me for it. For choosing you.” noveldrama

She turned her face toward his hand, her temple just brushing where his fingers cradled her.

“I don’t.”

He looked up.

Her voice was a whisper, but there was no hesitation in it. “I don’t hate you.”

He swallowed hard.

“You know what it told me?” she asked, eyes half–closed again. “Hearing you say that? That when it came down to it… you weren’t just here because pregnant. Or because it was the right thing.”

She touched his wrist gently. Weak, but present. “It to

told me

you

still love me.”

Luca inhaled shakily, “I do.”

“That’s what I needed to know,” she whispered.

MO

an anything, I needed to know you were here for me. Not the baby I was carrying

Luca sat back slowly, watching her face settle, the wo

on her shoulders shift just slightly.

“I didn’t believe you when you said it,” she added.

“What?”

“That you love me. Since you arrived, I have always felt

t you were here for the baby.”

He gave a low, breathless laugh.

“So, you didn’t need to just hear it,” he said. “You needed to feel it. I failed you the first time, and I know it’s going to take time to build trust. I was a fucking asshole. The things I said to you that last day.”

“I wasn’t ready the first time,” she whispered. “I was an illusion. You didn’t know the real me, Luca. Yes, I still had the same personality, but I was still hiding, and I didn’t trust you with who I really was. So you are not the only one to blame.”

She drifted again, her eyes fluttering shut. He watched as the effort to stay awake slipped away and she finally succumbed to sleep.

Luca leaned forward once more, brushed a soft kiss to the back of her hand, then rested it where her rising chest met the edge of her hospital gown.

“I love you,” he whispered.

She didn’t respond because she was asleep. Her hand remained curled softly in his, so maybe subconsciously she had heard him. And for the first time since she had been brought into the hospital, he let himself breathe.

Really breathe. Luca stood; he was going to see his son. Now, finally, he felt like he had the right to. It was the reason he hadn’t stayed long this morning. He hadn’t felt he had the right to. Sutton, with her words, had given him that right.

AD